whatever you find interesting, listen to everyone. At times it will sound very complicated; just keep one thing in mind. Every child is different and every parent, whether a father or a mother, is also different in their reaction and actions. Don’t be afraid to trust your own judgment and common sense. Listen to the doctors or other experts but don’t become too overawed by what they have to say. The most important thing to remember is the 'natural loving care' that kindly parents give is a hundred times more valuable than knowing how to change a diaper just right.
It is perfectly normal that when you have a baby, you do not immediately feel this immense, overpowering love for him or her. The father may be a bit scared and a mother too overwhelmed with her child birth experience. A lot of parents who are pleased and proud to be pregnant find it hard to feel a personal love for a baby they have never seen or touched before. But when it begins to move and smile, it helps you to believe that it’s a real person after all. Anticipation is always more exciting than the actual event, so you might feel a little down. Do not lose heart, most first time parents feel this way.
The mother will find it a bit more difficult in the beginning, even discouraged for a while as she starts to take care of her baby. That is the most common feeling, because your body is going through many hormonal changes and your life has changed in so many ways. If you begin at all to feel depressed, try to take time out from the constant care of your baby, especially during the first couple of months. Go to a movie or a beauty salon or visit a friend, maybe even take the baby along. You could read a book, paint or even sew, any activity that gives you creative satisfaction.
A man reacts to his wife’s pregnancy with various feelings: protectiveness of the wife, increased pride in the marriage, and pride about his virility and anticipation of the child. But there can also be, way underneath, a feeling of neglect or rejection. This could be manifested as grumpiness towards his wife, wanting to spend more evenings with his friends. These reactions are no help to his wife, who craves extra support at the start of this unfamiliar stage of her life.
When a mother feels blue and thinks that her husband seems indifferent, there are two sides to consider. On the one hand, anyone who is depressed feels that other people are less friendly and affectionate. But on the other hand, it’s natural for a father, being human, to feel left out, when his wife and the rest of the household are completely wrapped up with the baby. The best thing at this point for a mother to do is try to pay some attention to her husband and encourage him to participate in the care of the baby.
However, in all fairness, it would be unfair to generalize. Husbands do participate in the upbringing of their children, even small babies. In fact there is no reason why fathers shouldn’t be able to do these jobs and contribute equally to the child’s security and development as mothers do. But the benefit is lost if this work is done as a favor to their wives. The work should be done in the spirit of equal partnership. In fact, if a father can just show emotional support, patience, understanding, appreciation and affection, it would go a long way. It may be all a little complicated by the fact that does he support the wife or take care of the baby or go out and earn? Actually it’s simple if you can realize how much love and help your wife needs. Try to take on a role of the patient leader (if only on weekends). This result in providing a twofold benefit, firstly the much needed relief to the mother whose patience and leadership has worn thin and then, secondly the child benefits from the experience of learning from another source, especially if the source is the father. It gradually becomes fairly simple and easy.
The rearing of children is more and more puzzling for many parents in the twenty-first century because we have lost a lot of our old-fashioned convictions about what kind of morals and ambitions and characters we want them to have. We have lost our convictions about the purpose of human existence. Instead we have come to depend on psychological concepts. They do solve the smaller problems but not the bigger ones. So as new parents, I urge you to love your child, love your spouse and at times when it gets tough, and remember you are not reinventing the wheel.
When a mother feels blue and thinks that her husband seems indifferent, there are two sides to consider. On the one hand, anyone who is depressed feels that other people are less friendly and affectionate. But on the other hand, it’s natural for a father, being human, to feel left out, when his wife and the rest of the household are completely wrapped up with the baby. The best thing at this point for a mother to do is try to pay some attention to her husband and encourage him to participate in the care of the baby.
However, in all fairness, it would be unfair to generalize. Husbands do participate in the upbringing of their children, even small babies. In fact there is no reason why fathers shouldn’t be able to do these jobs and contribute equally to the child’s security and development as mothers do. But the benefit is lost if this work is done as a favor to their wives. The work should be done in the spirit of equal partnership. In fact, if a father can just show emotional support, patience, understanding, appreciation and affection, it would go a long way. It may be all a little complicated by the fact that does he support the wife or take care of the baby or go out and earn? Actually it’s simple if you can realize how much love and help your wife needs. Try to take on a role of the patient leader (if only on weekends). This result in providing a twofold benefit, firstly the much needed relief to the mother whose patience and leadership has worn thin and then, secondly the child benefits from the experience of learning from another source, especially if the source is the father. It gradually becomes fairly simple and easy.
The rearing of children is more and more puzzling for many parents in the twenty-first century because we have lost a lot of our old-fashioned convictions about what kind of morals and ambitions and characters we want them to have. We have lost our convictions about the purpose of human existence. Instead we have come to depend on psychological concepts. They do solve the smaller problems but not the bigger ones. So as new parents, I urge you to love your child, love your spouse and at times when it gets tough, and remember you are not reinventing the wheel.